The NY – LA Duality

I’ve been living this double life now, almost like a secret agent split between two worlds so similar yet so different. New Yorkers are programmed to hate LA, they’re too laid back, too relaxed…too slow. On the other hand the residents of the City of Angels find New Yorkers too neurotic, too stressed…too in a rush.

Pedestrians wait for the light to turn green before crossing the street and cars wait for all the pedestrians to cross before turning right. For a NYer coming to LA is somehow like going through a rabbit hole. Nobody really walks anywhere here and if they do it’s just when going for a walk therefore it’s slow, like a stroll with your 80-year old grandma. In NY you can wander around for hours and hours and never get bored by the beautiful street where you can randomly stumble upon a delicious bakery or a little store that sells trinkets from all over the world.

As for LA, LA is always warm. Even when it’s not warm, it’s somehow still warm and people go crazy when the temperature goes below 55F. I particularly like when you get one of those 6 days a year when it rains and everyone’s complaining as if it’s the end of the world. And it’s sunny…pretty much all the time, no matter the temperature. In the mornings you get a bit of haze off the ocean, but it burns off quickly and stays sunny for the rest of the day.

What kills me in LA is that sweat pants and running shoes or flip flops are the way to go. Somehow to me weekend wear means jeans and converse with a tank top or a t shirt and I still can’t picture myself walking out of the house in athletic pants and running shoes to go for a walk on the beach. Even when we go hiking I have this tendency to bring a pair of jeans and shoes to change into should we go anywhere to eat after. LA is casual, somewhat sloppy and there seems to be no relaxed wear in between sweats and dressing up. It’s like you’re either fancied up or you walk out with whatever you had on in the house, or whatever you were sleeping in…which reminds me that I saw a woman the other day in a grocery store in pink pajama pants with white socks, flip flops and a pink hoodie…an it was about 6pm…

NY is my all time love, my home, that place in my heart where I know I can always go back to no matter what and it will feel good, the place that somehow takes away anything that may be going wrong at some point, but LA, LA is soft and slow, it’s like everyone moves in slow motion and smiles as you hurriedly walk by NY style.

The people who make us forget

Sometimes we get to a point when everything in our lives connects to a beautiful memory about another person. It’s like everything that existed before, everything that wasn’t connected to that person somehow disappeared, dematerialized in a world of air and light only to be replaced by memories that are tied through an invisible wire with that someone, that person that erases everything that was and leaves you wondering if there ever was a life before them. There was, there definitely was a life before, but now it’s just a distant memory with details that keep fading away every minute…until the moment when even the memories that weren’t connected become connected and you feel like that person has morphed in your body, your mind and your soul…there’s no space, no time, no nothing…you are connected forever.

The seamlessness of big changes

We think that big changes should come with a thunder and be announced by some great event, yet most of the times big changes come seamlessly and after a while you just look back and realized things are just not the same. A few days ago when I updated my iPhone to iOS5, I realized that Apple works exactly like that. The updates are seamless, yet they somehow make you forget how things looked before…like a relationship that erases the previous ones and you’re left realizing that you just don’t remember how things used to be before.

People who change the world

There are people who change your life and you don’t even know it. You’ve never met them, you’ve never even been in their proximity, but somehow their life influenced yours in a way that they didn’t predict and most importantly you didn’t predict. I’ve never met Steve Job and the closest I’ve been to him was watching the Stanford commencement speech on YouTube many, many, many times in awe. Yet today at the news of his death, I felt this terrible sadness as if I had lost someone dear to me. I read the news on my MacBook, while talking on my iPhone…and somehow he was and will be part of my life. Somehow I felt sad for the loss of a man I never knew, who never knew me yet who was part of my life and had me as part of his.

One day…

Someone posted this photo on Facebook a few days ago and as I looked at it I started smiling.

We tend to look back at our relationships that didn’t work and view them as a waste of time, as if it stopped us from getting to our “one” sooner. I believe every relationship we ever have teaches us about being with the next person so if we’re mindful enough we get better and better so that one day we’re ready, ready to see the person that may have been there for a while, ready to allow them into our lives, ready to be our best selves and to see their best selves, ready to be patient, unconditional and loving, ready for that person who shows us why it would have never worked out with anyone else.

And you wait…and you wait…

How many times do we just wait for something or someone to tell us that we’re on the right path, we need the reassurance that it’s all going to be good, but we forget that the only way things will actually be good is when we decide to follow the path of our heart, when we push beyond the doubts, beyond the confusion and the part of our mind that seems to have only one purpose in this life – to make us realize how important certain things are for us. If at the first glimpse of doubt, we change our mind, we flake out and give up, then maybe the task was never for us or maybe we’re just not ready for it. Yes, sometimes, we actually need more time. Other times, we’re just using that as an excuse.

But if you’re looking for a sign to help you in making a decision, look around, the signs are probably already here, you’ve just been unwilling to see them. Take fear by its hand and walk courageously towards your goals…the worst thing that could happen is failure, and then we get up and try again…after all that’s how we got to where we are right now.

All change is good, right?

The question of change has been on my mind for the past few weeks, maybe because my life is going through major changes and at times I have to remind myself to be grateful for the change.

But what’s so great about change after all? Well, things change every day and if we don’t notice that they’ve changed is because they’re changing over and over to the same thing. The planet moves, therefore things change by default so when it seems like their not, it’s because we’re stuck in our own repetitive pattern that doesn’t allow us to see the change.

What I’m feeling now is definitely not that, it’s something I experience at a visceral level…like a constant feeling of being both super excited and just about to throw up at the same time, like the earth is standing still and moving too fast all at the same time, like it’s too late and too early and I have a long wait while not having enough time. Above all those feelings lingers the feeling of gratitude of not standing still, of moving forward with the speed of light, of knowing that my dreams are happening and the planets are aligning.

I was looking for the key and I found a lock

I was getting out of the subway, searching for my key while walking towards my apartment. I pulled the lock I use at yoga out of my bag and continued to walk home as if the keys were already in my hand. Only when I got in front of my building and I was about to open the front door, did I realize that I was holding a lock, not a key. I stopped to think for a minute about the many times I get stuck because instead of holding a key, I’m holding a lock. I was puzzled realizing the greatness of the event. I had just been shown in the most visual way possible, what happens when I’m so distracted from reality that I think the lock is key.

So next time you reach for the key, make sure you don’t grab the lock by mistake. You might end up stuck in front of a locked door with no key to open it.

Are you going in a circle?

Do you ever feel yourself going in a circle, like a little mouse on the spin wheel, going round and round, but ending up in the same place? Maybe you just haven’t taken the time to become aware of where you are and where you want to be, to actually stop for a second, assess and then see which direction you want to go, constantly adjusting your trajectory so that it completely fits your goal and your desire for this life.

So next time you find yourself going in a circle, stop and think about what it would take to change the circle into an upward spiral to your dreams. Maybe it’s just a tiny adjustment, maybe it’s a big one, maybe it’s just a different perspective that will turn your circle into a spiral going your way.

A Band Aid for the Soul

Last year around this time I had to wear a wrist brace as I had a tiny fracture in my wrist…tiny enough that it didn’t require a cast, but big enough that I had to wear the brace for about 6 weeks. It got me thinking about about how we take care of out physical injuries and the role of a band aid in that. I see the band aid (whether it’s a real Band Aid, a brace, a cast or some other thing that covers the wound) as having 2 roles:
1. It protects the injury until it heals therefore becoming a statement of the bearer’s desire to get better/well
2. It draws attention to the fact that the person is physically not functioning at full capacity therefore might require compassion and care when approached.
That definitely takes care of the physical injuries we may have to deal with at any point in our lives.

What about the emotional injuries, those moments when you feel your soul breaking and your heart crumbling? There’s no band aid for that, there’s nothing to put over the wound to comfort it, nothing that will tell other people: “Please have some compassion!” In Eastern Europe, people wear black after someone close to them dies. It’s a sign of respect and reverence for the dead, but also a way of saying: “My soul is wounded.” But for the other injuries of the soul, there’s nothing, no sign for the outside world to recognize. That’s one thing, I’d love to invent, a Band Aid for the Soul, a subtle way of saying: “Please be ware, I’m hurting! Please be understanding and compassionate! Please support me, just as you would if I was wearing a cast on my leg or arm!”

That’s all…A Band Aid for the Soul…